When I was an Impostor Engineer…
One of the things that surprises people most when they learn about my past education + work experience is when they discover that I used to be an engineer. I don’t come across as having much of an “engineering personality” according to friends.
If you had told me in high school that I would end up majoring in engineering in college I would have laughed at you. Math wasn’t my strong suit. I didn’t know anything about computers (except how to play the occasional video game). And I wasn’t one of those kids who was always inventing stuff in their room or garage.
When I graduated high school I honestly didn’t have much of an idea of what I wanted to do professionally. I had a vague idea that I could maybe become a doctor like my Dad. So without much thought I initially enrolled as a microbiology major during my Freshman year. Two weeks into Chem 105 and I knew I wasn’t going to cut it in the medical world. I was bored to death and struggled with the course material. I decided quickly that medical school was not in the cards.
I finished Freshman year just wrapping up general classes and then left for 2 years to serve as a volunteer missionary for my church in Africa. When I got back 24 months later I was chatting with my grandfather (one of the smartest people I knew) about my future plans. When I told him that I thought that maybe I’d like to get an MBA one day, he suggested that I get a technical undergrad degree instead of majoring in a business field.
“You’ll stand out more among a field of MBA applicants,” he said. “Companies are always looking for people who can understand both the technical and business side of things. It’ll make you more valuable.”
I couldn’t argue much with the logic. I decided to major in manufacturing engineering (the engineering major I felt was most similar to business operations + the field my grandpa taught in at the local university). I told myself that this would be a good foundation for me before I eventually returned for grad school.
The next 3 years passed by. I did pretty well academically, even though I wasn’t as quantitatively gifted as the other students. But I was honestly pretty bored by most of my classes. Topics like “friction stir welding” and “material science” were chores. Unlike most of my classmates I didn’t enjoy reading about the subject matter outside of class. And I certainly didn’t get excited to work in the lab like they did. But I stuck with the major because I assumed that this was simply part of being an adult – embracing work that was boring so that you could end up with a better tomorrow.
I had few close friends in the engineering program. Everyone was kind, but it was obvious that I didn’t have a lot of shared interests with most of my peers. They were always excited to talk about science and technical inventions. I wanted to talk about entrepreneurship, finance, and interesting new business models. Someone once even asked me “Why are you in this class? You look like you should be in the business school somewhere.”
In short, I felt like this for most of my undergrad years.
When my junior year came along, I dutifully got an engineering internship at Boeing working on 767 freighters. When graduation came, I (again) dutifully got a role as an engineer at a medical device company because I thought that was what normal people did: get jobs in their field of study.
Just like my undergrad I regularly found myself bored and distracted by my full-time role. I didn’t question it at the time, because again, “this is what work is supposed to be like”.
After 2.5 years of this, I decided that it was time for me to apply to an MBA program. And that’s when everything changed.
My MBA was a completely different experience from my undergrad. Suddenly I found myself in a room full of people who were excited by the same things I was. I felt like I had found “my tribe”. It was the first time in college that I ever felt like I belonged somewhere. I was fascinated by the course material. I wanted to take more classes than my schedule would allow. My mind felt like it was on fire. Studying strategy, finance, operations, marketing, analytics, etc. was invigorating. It was intellectual water for someone who didn’t even realize they were thirsty. I felt excited and alive every day I went to class, despite the grueling hours and intense course load.
I eagerly threw myself into extracurricular activities: co-founding a startup-accelerator at the university, leading a student-run management consulting firm, establishing an internal consulting group for the MBA program, and serving as a leader in the strategy club.
Perhaps most importantly, I was surrounded by people who had worked in / wanted to work in fields that were inspiring to me. I was honestly intimidated by how much everyone else had accomplished relative to what I considered my own very uninspiring career.
For the first time in my life, I painstakingly examined what actually made me tick and carefully selected the roles and companies that I would apply for (instead of simply taking the first job available). I ultimately ended up in management consulting, largely because I wanted more of what I had experienced in my MBA program: exposure to a wide variety of interesting problems + really smart colleagues.
In short: I found a field that was authentic to who I was.
What I’m going to warn my kids about college…
In the years since I have thought a lot about the marked contrast between my undergrad vs. grad school experiences.
To be frank, I have a lot of regrets about choosing to major in engineering. Not because it’s not an important field (it clearly is) or that it didn’t allow me to have a good living (my engineering job provided a pretty decent salary). I regretted my choice because I never took the time to explore other options.
I wish I had been as proactive during my undergraduate as I was during my MBA. I often think that if I could have simply taken the time to walk over to the business school as a freshman or sophomore I would have likely ended up in a completely different major (ex: Finance, Information Systems, Strategy, etc.). I would have probably met more of my dearest friends 4 to 5 years earlier, and I certainly would have chosen a different first job out of college (example: working in consulting out of my undergraduate degree instead of out of my MBA program).
Instead, I made a mistake I see all too many people fall prey to: I wasn’t intentional with my choices.
I simply took the easiest road offered, a clear and “logical” engineering career path option presented by my grandfather. This was a path that seemingly didn’t require me to do a lot of critical thinking, and like most young people, I wasn’t particularly skilled at questioning the road most traveled.
I should have had the courage, especially once I noticed the early warning signs of intellectual boredom + lack of “like-minded peers”, to ask the following questions:
- Does this major interest me? Am I excited to talk about it with others? Do I read about it in my spare time?
- Where is this path leading? Is it something I can see myself thriving in? Or is it something I’d dread doing every day?
- If I could design my dream job, what would I be doing?
Simply put, I didn’t take the time to explore.
As a counterpoint: I am incredibly impressed by many of the students who intern for my strategy team. Most of them have built up a huge array of experiences during their college years. Some of my interns have had as many as 6-7 internships (or related side hustles, extracurriculars, etc.) under their belt before they even reach their senior year. They’ve seen a lot of companies and roles and have generally gotten a pretty good sense of what they do/don’t like very early on. Internships in particular are an incredible low risk way of prototyping what your future life may look like.
By contrast, I had a single engineering internship and didn’t even think to apply to others because that wasn’t the norm in the engineering school. I feel in many ways that the 5.5 years I spent as an undergrad + full-time engineer were wasted time that I should have spent exploring (though fortunately I was able to quickly make up that exploration ground during grad school).
In short, I’m going to tell my kids what I wish my parents had told me: Don’t just pick a major because it’s a hobby or because someone you trust said you should do XYZ. Really take the time to intentionally explore and evaluate (A) what you like, (B) what you think you can be great at, and (C) what can provide a good living and/or life balance for you.
The Japanese call this concept “Ikigai”, which I’ve found to be a beautiful framework for those looking for their professional calling. It’s hard to discover this at a young age, hence why you need to do some real discovery to find what you love, what the world needs, what you can be paid for, and what you are good at.
Conclusion
If you are a student or mentoring a student, take the time to ask yourself critical questions, such as if a major interests you, where the path leads, and if you could design your dream job what it would be.
As Steve Jobs once said “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking“.
It’s never too late to start exploring. Find your fit
